Letter: To The Man I’ll Love

I am broken. I have a lot of insecurities. I have mood swing patterns that is very difficult to fathom. The previous relationship I was at, left me confused, scared and worried. Confused because it was not what I was expecting. My expectation wasn’t that high. But I thought relationships were supposed to be give and take. To have balance. Understanding and effort on both parties for the relationship to work. He was the taker and I was the giver for two years. Scared and worried that the next man I’ll give my heart to would do the same to me. Despite the fact, I am still willing to love and be loved (hopefully).

To the man I’ll be loving next. Please put up with my crazy antics and please be patient with me. I may get cranky one minute then sweet the next. Just know that, somehow, this is my poor attempt to ask for “lambing” (Filipino[tagalog] word for fondness and affection) from you.

If we get into a fight and I am still talking to you, albeit some harsh words, know that I am not that angry. A hug and forehead kiss would suffice, but don’t brush off the issue. I want us to frankly talk about it. Talk to me honestly, voice out your opinions and don’t just agree to everything I say if you have something to say about it. Argue with me and settle on compromises. Because this would enable us to understand each other more.

Share with me your hobbies and interests and I will share mine. I am a curious person and very much insecure. If I ask you a question, I would very much appreciate it if you give me an honest response. It may hurt me, yes, but please talk to me and make me understand because I would be doing the same. Share with me your problems, I may not be of any help but I’ll do whatever I can to lighten the burden. We’re together, let’s help out each other. I want you to know me better as I want to know you too.

I’ll cook meals for you everyday, if I can. But I’ll love it even more if we can prepare meals together from time to time. Let’s hold hands while on a date or hold my hand just because. I am not asking much, I just want a little of your time when we’re apart. Enough time to tell me what you’re up to so I wouldn’t worry because I didn’t hear from you the whole day.

I know that relationships is not all rainbows and smiles but I would love it if we could get through those stormy times as well. My heart’s rough around the edges. It may have some tear here and there but I promise I’d still give it to you fully… just take care of it, please.

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