Learning to accept and love yourself, it is the hardest part of being alive. It is always easier said than done. We often mask our insecurities and unhappiness by smiles. Surrounding ourselves with people so we won’t feel alone. Lost. Buying material things that would only bring us short lived happiness till we got tired of it and move on to wanting something new. We have our family, close friends, a stable job, but we are left searching for something else. Like there’s something missing. We still feel empty inside… We are still not happy with who we are.
I, for one, still haven’t accepted and found self love. I still continuously compare myself to others, especially with people who’s the same age as me. Not measuring up to what they have achieved. Not being contented and happy with where I am right now. I may sound cocky or arrogant or ungrateful… But words just simply couldn’t describe what or how I am currently feeling.
Neither proud, nor satisfied with what I am. I keep on asking myself…
“What are you doing? No, really, what do you want to do with your life. You’re almost halfway with the average human life span and you still haven’t found yourself yet. What do you honestly want with your life..?”
I kept having these internal arguments that I can’t help but mask everything with smiles and laughter. Building a fake image of me being mature and making wise decisions. But, I still can’t find acceptance, among other things.