I now realized where I was wrong. Why I wasn't moved and happy whenever someone complements me; or whenever I see some star, like, heart or comment notifications on my social network. Why I am not motivated even though I have read several self-help/motivational books; Or why am I not contented in spite of all my hullabaloo about having time alone to think and reassess myself and my supposed "realizations" during those trips. I now know why... I was in too deep with the thought of making an impression and showing off to people who don't know me just so I could gain their "likes". I got too greedy...
Breaking down. The walls I've destroyed steadily creeps back up again. The confidence and mindset I've created is slowly crumbling down. Caging me into and endless spiral of self-deprecating thoughts. The "realization" was short lived and feels more like a dream than a fact. Late night musings and moments of self-doubt. Got back to questioning... Continue Reading →
I got the chance to travel and be alone. To think deeply in a place where no one knew me. It really helped me appreciate things more. I realized that there's more to life than what I am seeing at the moment. There are still good things that's happening and I should be thankful for those.
The last time I posted an entry was on the 25th of May. It's already July... I haven't even posted about my birthday trip to Puerto Galera; And, to be honest, I don't really want to. I want to keep the details to myself and let it remain as an important, private memory. A point... Continue Reading →
Traveling alone for the first time is scary. Watching the news and reading articles about current events brings you lots of horrible thoughts. Thinking it might happen to you if you travel alone. On the other hand, when it comes down to it, you know you'll be missing out on life if you do not... Continue Reading →
It has been, what... 11 years since you went Home. Sorry for everything... Sorry if I disappoint you. Sorry if I am not visiting you at Church... There're a lot of things I am sorry for. Unmentionable stuff... But I still hope I am making you proud in some way.
Gusto kong maligo sa ulan. Nais kong iiyak lahat ng sakit, takot, pangamba na aking nararamdaman. Nais kong umiyak hanggang sa wala na akong maiiyak pa. Hanggang sa patak na lang ng ulan ang patuloy na aagos sa aking muka.
I just feel like I can do better somewhere else. I don't know if my mindset is the one to blame here... I really am lost. I've been debating whether to leave or stay.